GOODBYE 2016, HELLO 2017

I've seen a lot of these types of posts and I love reading them myself, so I decided it was about time I did a bit of my own reflecting on 2016.

It’s odd to look back on this year, as whilst it was probably one of the worst years of my life, it was also without a doubt the best. I struggled a lot with my health during the first 6 months of the year and I really was at my lowest point. However, things really started to pick up later in the year and it’s been an amazing year for me for so many reasons. I wanted to write a short (read: probably quite long) post about the things I’m really proud about and also touch on what I hope 2017 will be like for me!

The first achievement I want to touch on is travel related. Whilst I love visiting new places, anyone with anxiety will know how much stressful situations, such as travelling, can trigger feelings of intense panic and uneasiness. Just last year, I couldn’t even take a bus by myself without worrying, let alone a flight. The hustle and bustle of an airport can be overwhelming for just about anyone, so multiply that by about 10 and you will probably get what an anxiety sufferer feels in this situation. However, I’m incredibly proud to be able to say that this year I successfully managed 11 flights, 6 of which were on my own; this is honestly a feat that I really didn’t think I would ever be able to achieve, nor did I imagine I would have spent enough time to total a whole month away from my family. I’m so glad I took this step though, as it allowed me to visit France for the first time and meet my boyfriend’s lovely family and friends. 

I’m also very proud of myself for being able to finish Sixth Form with 3 A-Levels. This is by no stretch of the imagination a unique achievement, but it didn’t seem right to write a post about my greatest achievements of 2016 without including gaining my A-Levels. Of course, this is by no means an easy thing to achieve, but doing so during the midst of a tricky patch made it immensely difficult. My chosen subjects were all essay based and required a lot of time and effort, both of which did not come easily when I was at my very lowest; it’s difficult to describe if you’ve never experienced it yourself, but my mind felt too fogged up to even do simple, usually enjoyable tasks like watching TV or reading, and the only place I felt truly comfortable was in my bed. There were so many days where I would break down completely before leaving the house and I sometimes didn’t even have the strength to leave at all - a quick email to my teachers to explain (which is never easy), with a promise that I would study at home, was often the best I could do. I would advise that staying healthy, both physically and mentally, is always more important than your studies, however I’m so proud that I was able to find balance in the end and finish college with 3 A-Levels. I would also say that it’s so important to surround yourself with people who will support you no matter what, whether this is a family member, a friend, a teacher, a partner, a doctor - just someone who you feel comfortable enough with to discuss how you’re feeling. I can definitely say that having a caring family, boyfriend and circle of friends did me the world of good throughout this time.


Linking in with this, applying to university was a really daunting process for me and I imagine it is for many other people too. There were two courses that I was interested in (both completely different) and in the end, I applied for French & Spanish. I was given offers from all four universities that I applied to, with my top choice being Lancaster University. After gaining a conditional place there, I was offered an interview and in May 2016, my original place was made into an unconditional one. Whilst I ultimately decided that this course and university as a whole wasn’t quite right for me at the time, I’m so glad that I did apply and I’m very proud that I was given an unconditional offer. I also think that my gap year has been really beneficial to me so far and I hope it continues that way! Whilst education is obviously important, university is not the be all and end all; I’d really advise anyone going through the application process to not rush into anything they’re unsure about, as there are so many alternative routes available nowadays, not to mention the fact that you can go to university at any point in your life!

Finally, I’m especially proud of myself for getting a new job. After deciding to take my gap year, I wanted to find a position that would give me some business experience. I applied for several different roles and a few interviews later, I was offered a business administration apprenticeship at the head office of a national company. I had enjoyed my previous job, yet going to work was always something that triggered lots of anxiety for me, therefore working 37.5 hours a week was a massive thing for me. I was so nervous and apprehensive before I started, worrying about whether I would fit in at my new workplace and whether I would be anxious whilst I was there. As a matter of fact, my new job still made me anxious, however I was able to get through this. Although I decided that this role ultimately wasn’t right for me and that I wanted to move on to other things, I loved the three months I spent there. I’m glad I didn’t give in to the initial anxiety of starting a new job, as it was great to gain some real business experience and work alongside a lovely group of people. 

As for next year, I’m very excited at the prospect of making lots of new memories. Now that I seem to mastered the whole being away from home idea, I’d love to be able to travel further afield - Dublin, Prague and Paris are definitely high up on my list! I’d also love to spend more quality time with my family and friends; in the past, I’ve been guilty of cancelling plans at the last minute or not even making them in the first place as a result of my anxiety, but in the coming year I’m determined to change this.

In addition to this, over the course of this year, I’ve learned that caring for your is incredibly important, which is why I want to dedicate next year (and hopefully many more to come) to practicing a lot more self care. I can’t wait to spend my year eating food that will really nourish my body, taking more care of my skin and going on walks more often, although this list is truly never-ending. Also, my mental health issues earlier this year seemed to dampen the creative, curious side of my personality considerably, as during this time, my brain just felt too fogged up to do anything requiring a higher degree of concentration. Now that I’m feeling a lot better, I’d love to be able to use my spare time in 2017 to the fullest and reawaken that part of me. Here’s to a year of dodgy DIY attempts and time spent trying to perfect my knowledge of the French language (possibly a bit ambitious, but I’m going with it)!

I know the whole idea of ‘new year, new me’ is very overused, but for me, I find a new date equals a fresh start and a chance to better myself. 2016 wasn’t a good year for many people and so many awful events occurred, which only made me realise further that I want to live my life to the fullest, work hard and take on any challenges that are thrown my way. 

I hope that everyone has had a lovely festive period and wish you all the best for the New Year! Do you have any goals/resolutions? 

Rebecca x